Bring light to your shadow by allowing it to be seen and known within yourself.  As uncomfortable as it is, embracing your shadow is essential for your sense of wholeness.  That is a nice sentence, isn’t it?  Poetic in its own way.  But the experience itself can be excruciating.

We are afraid of our shadows, by its very definition.  “Shadow” refers to what feels unlovable, unacceptable and shameful about ourselves.  We spend a lot of energy hiding these aspects from others—and from ourselves.  Denial keeps the shadow under cover, so hopefully nobody will see it or know about it.  Matter of fact, we don’t even want to know about it ourselves! But sure enough, the shadow doesn’t go away.  Rather it contaminates our every day sense of lovability and our ability to receive good stuff in our lives.  The act of hiding from our own shadow is like having a leak in our boat and pretending it’s not there.  We won’t be able to get very far...  As long as we try to deny the shadow, the more we actually identify.  Consequently, it can run our lives without our conscious awareness.

Once we are in primary relationships or involved with anything that we are deeply committed to, we are bound to run right into our shadows!  That is why I called my first marriage an enema.  Relationships will take us right into our shadow selves.  If we don’t reach deep down inside of ourselves and humbly own up to our “stuff” – our own part -- in the dysfunctional aspects of our relationship dance, we will not be able to deepen in authentic relating.  On the other hand, as we embrace the shadow in ourselves, we grow lighter and freer.

With willingness to be uncomfortable and to be seen in what feels like the less “lovable” aspects of ourselves, the shame inside us begins to melt.  We discover that these aspects of ourselves are just personality defenses.  Not our fault.  Part of the wound.  Deserving of compassion.  But still not pretty.  Not parts of ourselves that we particularly like or feel proud of.  But they are not the core of who we are. 

So the more you can admit to your own shadow, the more the light shines in—and the more the light shines out!