This is how I felt drawn to title this newsletter. So, then, I looked up the word alchemy in the dictionary. Alchemy is defined as “a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination: as in, finding the person who's right for you requires a very subtle alchemy.”
Interesting that this is the example the dictionary gives for alchemy. In the spirit of marrying yourself, let’s use the word in this way: To experience yourself as the person who is right for you calls upon an alchemy within yourself that transforms self-doubt into self-love.
The reason why I am drawn to use these specific words in the same sentence — alchemy and marrying yourself — is because the actual process of marrying yourself is utterly potent, magical and transformative!
The commitment to marry yourself ushers in a combination of all sorts of factors that blend into a almost mystical syntheses that integrates and shows up — as you — on your wedding day — with yourself.
Marrying myself was and is one of the most powerful experiences of my life and now is the foundation of my being and helps me to know how to navigate through life choices
The concept of “marrying yourself” is becoming a more popular phenomena these days. Yet, I have not heard of anyone actually getting engaged as I did and then doing the guided inner work for a year in preparation for self-marriage. Similar to how couples participate in pre-marital counseling and couples workshops once they are engaged, our relationship with ourselves call for the same, if not more, loving attention.
It is the journey itself — the inner work — that led me to a sense of confidence and substance so that when I finally said my vows to myself on my wedding day, I knew with every cell of me that I was home with myself. “Being home with myself” means being comfortable in my own skin, able to trust myself, respect myself, listen to myself, be true to myself and show up in beloved relationship with myself.
What inspired me to take this journey? Codependency run rampant. A divorce. A loss of myself. Realization of self-betrayal and giving myself away. Deep heart ache and grief. Emptiness and an experience of a huge hole inside of myself.
As I actively retrieved myself, I opened to an internal juicy experience of truly listening and knowing myself, getting engaged to myself, learning how to positively parent my inner kids, romance my Aphrodite woman self, tune into Goddess principles, courageously speak truth, set boundaries, honor and respect myself and walk the path of never betraying myself again. The journey strengthened the positive masculine within me so that my feminine energy felt enhanced, protected, nurtured — and free to be bad-ass!
One year later, I officially got divorce from the man I had been married to and I married myself in India. A sense of wholeness was undeniable. I knew I had cultivated a foundational shift in me that could never be diminished by anyone or anything. And it was all within me. Not based on external factors. Not based on a feeling. But rather, it was rooted in this commitment to myself that was the answer to my question when I separated from my husband a year before, “What is a marriage in which there is no divorce?”
I knew that the answer could only be with myself.
I came home and radiated a contagious sense of confidence and self-esteem. Others asked and wanted to experience for themselves what they saw evolve in me. I led a weekend workshop in marrying yourself. They loved it. I knew it wasn’t it and that with integrity, I could never do it again in that format. Others deserved the opportunities to grow in their own selves the way I did over the year. I often refer to it as “baking for a year.” So, I created a year program, rooted in experiences I had in the year that prepared me for marrying myself. Since then, I have led many through this year long journey — women and men. People share that it absolutely has served to be the turning point in their relationship with themselves. I say this without exaggeration!
People who do not live near me expressed desire to experience the journey, which has led me to creating an online marrying yourself journey that any English-speaking person can take anywhere in the world. Each module is based on the journey that both women and men have experienced in person. When people sign up for the course, a link will be shared that gives us weekly time to connect live, either led by myself or others who have married themselves through this journey. Also, for those in the Atlanta area, there will be in-person periodical gatherings that will include sacred rituals and experiential opportunities for sharing and deepening.
I am launching this course soon. Each coming newsletter is going to be offer something around the themes of the marrying yourself journey.
One of the most important aspects of radical love is loving ourselves. And, what is more radical than ultimately marrying yourself?
Soon the online journey will launch. It will include an interactive weekly zoom gathering as well as periodical in-person gatherings. Stay tuned, more to come.
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