Nineteenth Invitation

Healing Heart Communications, Inc. www.devajoy.net Our Circle Expands! "Do what you want to do!" Gathering in Community March Newsletter In my last newsletter I asked you questions like "What if this was your last year on the planet?" and "What if you really truly absolutely knew with your whole self that it doesn't end with the death of the body?". How much time have you spent with these questions?  Have you allowed them to awaken your commitment to live and love well? Last weekend I visited my Aunt Helen, my favorite aunt since childhood.  I always loved this woman ~~ her warmth, her genuine interest in me, and how I always felt like a person of worth in her eyes and not just a kid.  I liked how she held herself.  She walked with her head high and her back bone straight and tall.  She was inclined to wear her hair red and enjoyed being an Aphrodite woman.  Married to my Dad's brother, whom she loved very much, she birthed and raised one child.  But her life touched many many young children's lives.  She was a dedicated school teacher in the inner city throughout her adult life.   After her husband retired, Uncle Arnie went with her every day to school and assisted her with the kids.  He was a living demonstration of a caring, consistent father role model as well as a loving devoted husband.  For some of these kids who lived with great emotional deprivation, this was the only positive male role model they had.  Aunt Helen loved that the children had an opportunity to receive from both of them. Aunt Helen still tries to keep her head high, although she now sits in a wheel chair at the age of 87.  She allows her hair to be white but fixes it up with some of the pride she used to have. Her son moved her down to an assisted living community in Florida, near where he lives. She lived in New Jersey her whole life, where she still has life long friends and a male companion that she calls her "boyfriend" (He came along years after Uncle Arnie left his body). It was a very hard move for her, because she knew that she will never see her friends ever again (people at this age are not inclined to travel).  She recognized the need for more help, because she was having a hard time showering by herself.  She surrendered to the necessity for this change but it was the last thing in the world that she wanted. After making her way through a deep depression once she arrived in Florida, dealing with her losses and grief, she has once again found her resilient spirit. She finds a way to now embrace most days with willingness to smile and engage in the activities and the people around her. She has her daily issues, as in any life. Like one of the men she plays bridge with can't see well and the other one is completely deaf.  She tells of her experience and I just had to laugh, although it was so sad. She describes the dining experience - everyone lines up with their walkers and wheel chairs. She adds, "That's what is happening now in life." The main event of the day that everyone participates in is the line up for medicines at the pharmacy down the hallway. She and her "boyfriend" talk nightly but he repeats the same stories  Her son comes for brief weekly visits but she insists that she doesn't want to be a burden. Yet, somehow, she maintains a twinkle in her eye. She says, "Why be sad? Why be grouchy? Why be negative? Some people are so bitter about being here. It's the same experience either way, so we might as well smile and be kind to one another." Aunt Helen is a wise woman and she always has been. Her main hope now is that she exits her body from the assisted care unit rather than the hospice unit "where more seriously ill and dependent people are kept". She wants to skip that step! She looks us straight in the eyes and she gives us advice: "Do what you want to now in your life, don't wait!"  And she means it!  "It goes really fast and this is what it looks like for many of us in the elder years.  Do it while you can!" Now, granted, this is not new advice. We hear it almost daily in some way. But when Aunt Helen says it while in assisted care, well, somehow it goes in deeper. What does it really mean "Do what you want to now in your life, don't wait!"? Please, don't read on without pondering this for yourself. We all get caught up in work, in parenting, in earthly responsibilities, in doing what we need to in order to take care of everything that is on our plates...  How do we integrate the message "Do it now, what is in your heart, don't wait..."? Write about it. It's sort of a continuation of last month's theme. But this time we have Aunt Helen asking the questions... And its sobering and frightening and awakening to stare into the face of someone who is now an elder and only yesterday was my 35 year old aunt, my 40 year old aunt, and 50 and 60 and 70 and 80 now, so soon, my 87 year old aunt ~~ widowed, separated from lifelong friends and without my parents for company... It is paramount that we live out our desires and dreams.  To name them, to take steps towards them, to actualize them.  Otherwise, we will be plagued by regrets... And perhaps even more significant is not so much about what we are doing with our lives, but how we are doing it...  with what presence we bring to each moment; how we allow, surrender and embrace whatever arises; how we love into the is-ness that unfolds, as it is, no matter what it is. Sort of like my Aunt Helen. In the Spirit of Expanding our Soul Star Connecting (one of my greatest heart and soul dreams...) All my love, devajoy     TO SHARE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE,  Go To BLOG at www.devajoy.net forward to a friend | unsubscribe from this list | update subscription preferences